Customer: Hi,this is Celine .. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes,sure,it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good;I’ll make a note.
Customer: No ,wait a minute. I hadn’t inserted it yet…it’s still on my desk…sorry…
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Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello…I can’t print.
Tech support:Would you click on ‘start’for me and….
Customer: Listen pal;don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.
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Customer: Hi,good afternoon,this is Martha,I can’t print. Every time I try,it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,but the computer still says he can’t find it.
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Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.
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Tech support: What’s on your monitor now,ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes,there’s another one here. Ah… that one does work.
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter ‘a’as in apple,a capital letter V as in Victor,the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
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Customer: I can’t get on the Internet..
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes,I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh,sorry…Internet Explorer.
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Customer:I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,but every time I move the mouse,it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first email.
Tech support: OK,and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well,I have the letter ‘a’in the address,but how do I get the little circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: ‘No,my desk is next to the door,but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,and his printer is working fine.’
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And last but not least…
Tech support:‘Okay Bob,let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter ‘P’to bring up the Program Manager.’
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard,Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: ‘P’…..on your keyboard,Bob.
Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
[email:supplied]
